haschel/modules/nginx.nix

{ config, pkgs, ... }:

{
  services.nginx = {
    enable = true;

    recommendedGzipSettings = true;
    recommendedOptimisation = true;
    recommendedProxySettings = true;
    recommendedTlsSettings = true;

    # Fuck AI
    commonHttpConfig = ''
      more_clear_headers Server;
      more_clear_headers X-Powered-By;

      map $http_user_agent $fuckai {
          default 0;

          "~*GPTBot" 1;
          "~*ChatGPT-User" 1;
          "~*OAI-SearchBot" 1;
          "~*ChatGPT-Browser" 1;
          "~*ClaudeBot" 1;
          "~*Claude-Web" 1;
          "~*anthropic-ai" 1;
          "~*Anthropic-Claude" 1;
          "~*xAI-Bot" 1;
          "~*DeepseekBot" 1;
          "~*Google-Extended" 1;
          "~*Gemini-Ai" 1;
          "~*Gemini-Deep-Research" 1;
          "~*Google-CloudVertexBot" 1;
          "~*Google-NotebookLM" 1;
          "~*GoogleAgent-Mariner" 1;
          "~*Bard-Ai" 1;
          "~*FacebookBot" 1;
          "~*Meta-ExternalAgent" 1;
          "~*meta-webindexer" 1;
          "~*Applebot-Extended" 1;
          "~*bingbot" 1;
          "~*CCBot" 1;
          "~*PerplexityBot" 1;
          "~*Perplexity-User" 1;
          "~*Bytespider" 1;
          "~*Diffbot" 1;
          "~*Amazonbot" 1;
          "~*cohere-ai" 1;
          "~*Cohere-Command" 1;
          "~*YouBot" 1;
          "~*Omgilibot" 1;
          "~*ImagesiftBot" 1;
          "~*AI2Bot" 1;
          "~*Andibot" 1;
          "~*bigsur.ai" 1;
          "~*Brightbot" 1;
          "~*TerraCotta" 1;
          "~*Character-AI" 1;
          "~*Devin" 1;
          "~*Crawlspace" 1;
          "~*DuckAssistBot" 1;
          "~*FirecrawlAgent" 1;
          "~*Groq-Bot" 1;
          "~*HuggingFace-Bot" 1;
          "~*IbouBot" 1;
          "~*MistralAI-User" 1;
          "~*Replicate-Bot" 1;
          "~*RunPod-Bot" 1;
          "~*TimpiBot" 1;
          "~*Together-Bot" 1;
          "~*Kangaroo Bot" 1;
          "~*PanguBot" 1;
          "~*Cotoyogi" 1;
          "~*Webzio-Extended" 1;
      }
    '';

    # Stream Hosts
    streamConfig = ''
      # Port 69
      server {
        listen 69;
        listen 69 udp;
        proxy_pass lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:69;
      }

      # Port 420
      server {
        listen 420;
        listen 420 udp;
        proxy_pass lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:420;
      }

      # Minecraft / Game Ports
      server {
        listen 25565;
        listen 25565 udp;
        proxy_pass lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:25565;
      }
      server {
        listen 25566;
        listen 25566 udp;
        proxy_pass lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:25566;
      }
      server {
        listen 25567;
        listen 25567 udp;
        proxy_pass lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:25567;
      }
    '';

    # Proxy Hosts
    virtualHosts = {
      # atri.dad hosts
      "atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:3000";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "analytics.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30060";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "archive.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30288";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "ascently.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:8838";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "bsky.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:31173";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "chef.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30111";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "democlimb.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:8008";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "fedi.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:8181";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "gist.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:1227";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "git.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30010";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "links.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30243";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "media.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30013";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "memos.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30311";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "mermaid.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:8280";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "msrc.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:3311";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "n8n.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30109";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "ocr.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30070";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "openclimb.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:1337";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "photos.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30041";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "pods.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:8828";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "requests.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30042";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "ripkyle.org" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:4321";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "s3.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30188";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "search.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30053";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "sync.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:20910";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "travel.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30251";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "travelapi.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30250";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "vault.atri.dad" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:30032";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };

      # atash.dev hosts
      "atash.dev" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:6969";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
      "chronus.atash.dev" = {
        enableACME = true;
        forceSSL = true;
        locations."/" = {
          proxyPass = "http://lloyd.tadpole-pain.ts.net:7337";
          extraConfig = "if ($fuckai) { return 444; }";
        };
      };
    };
  };

  # Open Ports
  networking.firewall.allowedTCPPorts = [ 80 443 69 420 25565 25566 25567 ];
  networking.firewall.allowedUDPPorts = [ 69 420 25565 25566 25567 ];
}